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Cracow, Poland
I'm just a typical university student, who has something to say.

Saturday, 5 March 2011

The Lord of the Rings

I bet most of you have seen The Lord of the Rings film trilogy. Don't you think it's awesome or at least cool? Sure, everybody does.

Today while chatting with a friend of mine, an idea has summoned into our minds: What if there were more female characters in LotR? That would be awesome! After drinking a few cups of coffee the idea was complete. Let's get to the beginning.

Everybody loves LotR (as said above), but who is the largest group of recipients? It's obvious:
Most of The Lord of the Rings' viewers are female.
- Why? - you might ask - That film is filled with war and slaughtering hordes of various humanoid races! How could it possibly be that way?
That's another pretty obvious thing. LotR is filled with ultra-masculine killing machines (Boromir, Aragorn, Theoden etc.) and pretty boys (Legolas, Frodo, a whole bunch of damn elves etc.). With that combination every girl must find a man suiting her needs in this film. The crazy chicks would prefer to help Boromir killing a legion of orcs, an ordinary girl would sell her soul for a night with Aragorn and those silent little romantic girls would cut their ears for a chance to listen to Legolas' beautiful, delicate and soft voice. (see the paradox?)
That's not all. Brilliant music only deepens the feeling between girls and Peter Jackson's film-tape. Long hours of symphonic melodies hypnotise every Barr body owner and pours lots of jelly into their panties. That seals all.

So, what if we would like more men to be interested in the film?
Add more women.
Imagine LotR like this: Frodo is a big breasted short girl (NO hair on feet), who steals a ring from her uncle Bilbo blah blah blah you know the story. Sam - her best friend since kindergarten. They used to play with the same toys and now they are BFF and travel together all the time. She once heard a conversation between Frodo and Gandalf blah blah blah. Wouldn't that be interesting? Two hot girls travelling all the way from Shire to Mordor? Lads would sit on their butts for the whole film without a single move! They would be hypnotised as well! Only two more female characters in the film and thousands of young and old men are watching it time and time again. Imagine what would happen if we added even more women... We would starve to death, men.
Before anybody asks it: NO, I certainly do NOT think Arwen isn't hot enough. She just isn't the main character and her story can't be extended enough to hypnotise so many people, however she does it already in a certain way. Those lips have made many men go mad.

What do you think about it? Would you add some women to The Lord of the Rings trilogy? I would.


  1. Nice blog! Followed and Supporting!

  2. It may come to a shock to alot of people, but I have not watched anything from Lord of the Rings. Also. I have also not watched anything from Star Wars. I have no idea why I have choose not to watch them, it is not like they don't interest me.

    But funnily enough, I know most of the significant scenes from the movies without watching - just because so many people have parodied it.

  3. wow I haven't laughed like this in a while...
    I have never heard or thought about how LotR has more female viewers. Personally I have not watched or read any parts.

  4. I guess I would since there aren't many. It would just seem a little unrealistic for me though if the majority of the characters were females.

    I've only seen the third installment btw.

  5. pretty funny! I did like Lord of the Rings, and predictably, I'm a girl